It was love at first sight when LAPD officer Kristi met Deputy Sheriff Theresa at a conference for LGBT law enforcement officers. But courting was cut short when Theresa found out that Kristi had 18-month-old twins, Erik and Danika.
Kristi had also donated an embryo to another lesbian couple, who soon conceived Maya. Together, the families frequently enjoy their favorite activities—from roller coaster riding to dirt bike racing.
KRISTI
We knew we were both on a job as law enforcement different agencies and then in 2008 there was a Gay and Lesbian’s Police Officer’s Conference in Washington DC that brought together agencies from all over the world basically. I actually already had the kids. They were 18 months when we got together.
THERESA
It was scary for me.
KRISTI
Yeah, she had never thought that she’d have kids in her life and –
THERESA
I had sidestepped that for my whole life I imagine yeah.
KRISTI
We didn’t get to court and date and –
THERESA
Yeah.
KRISTI
If she wanted to be with me it was gonna be okay you need to jump into the kid life.
THERESA
That’s right. When we got together I was scared to death of oh my God I’m gonna be a mom.
KRISTI
Yeah.
THERESA
And I don’t know the first thing about it.
KRISTI
I always wanted children. I always had been trying since I was 32. Using my own eggs and that was not taking and finally a doctor told me basically if you really are serious and want this to work you’re gonna have to look at donor eggs. So I found actually a known donor, very sweet girl. So I chose her and we started that whole process. Then I was at work actually. I went and did the urine test, the pregnancy test and went back to work and they said, “We’ll call you later.” They called and they said, “You’re very pregnant.” And I just rolled down the windows of the police car and I screamed I’m pregnant. And they said, “Not only are you pregnant but you’re very pregnant so possibility of twins.” And then they went in and did a few weeks later did the ultrasound and saw in fact that it was twins. I just felt like it was my time to have them in my arms and just to feel that feeling like I’m a mom finally. But like I said, we skipped the whole formal dating.
THERESA
Yeah.
KRISTI
And getting to know each other that way.
THERESA
I just fell in love with [PH] Christie and the kids and it made it all worth it. And I’m not gonna lie to anybody and say oh no it’s so easy right off the gate. No it wasn’t. It was a roller coaster ride a little bit at first.
KRISTI
And I told her, I said yes it is all about the kids. The kids come first, but what we can do is mold our lives into the things we like to do with the kids.
THERESA
Yeah.
KRISTI
And we really worked on doing that. It’s very important to both of us that they are raised especially [PH] Danica to know that girls can do anything that they want to do. She was raised basically very traditional.
THERESA
The opposite.
KRISTI
Girls will do this, this and this and they won’t be riding motorcycles.
THERESA
Well my dad said, “No daughter of mine’s gonna be on a dirt bike.” And I just said we’ll see about that. I work at Santa Clara [SOUNDS LIKE] at the court. We work in what we call the dungeon. Basically what that is the lock up where the inmates stay basically temporarily until they go to court and stuff. So for me it’s easy, it’s easier. Now Christie’s still on
PAT
rol and stuff so she’s got more of the challenge I would say.
KRISTI
Yeah.
THERESA
As far as the job, the high-powered job thing goes because she’s still doing the real cop thing.
KRISTI
Yeah, I need a shotgun. And what I wanted with the police department when I first joined, I knew I wanted to have kids, but I wanted a stable job that I knew I was always gonna be able to fall back onand never would need someone else in my life. If I had it great. If I didn’t I would be able to support myself and my kids. And I feel like I had that gift of
PAT
ience and kind of a nurturing end of police work, which when I first became an officer everybody said, “I just don’t picture you as a police officer”, but really I mean a lot of police work were just paid therapists. We’ve been judged in the sense that people see us and they put a picture in their mind about who’s gonna play what role. And I think we kind of turned that whole thing upside down what people expect.
THERESA
Yeah, I think what it is especially with the kids and stuff involved. They look at Christie. They assume she’s the butch. She should be the father and all, blah, blah, blah. They look at me okay because I put on a little bit of lipstick or something like that that I’m supposed to be the mother and the more oh the fem role.
KRISTI
They always assume that she carried of course.
THERESA
Yeah, yeah and I don’t. Danica kind of looks like me so we just roll with it when we go places. So a lot of my friends don’t have children. But they see us all together and they describe it, “You guys are really happy and you do a lot of stuff.”
KRISTI
Yeah.
THERESA
You’re getting out there and stuff. And happy and playing together.
KRISTI
Yeah.
THERESA
And not to sound corny but it is kind of the family plays together stays together.
KRISTI
Okay just a few sprinkles on each one. Now don’t get crazy. My friend [PH]
PAT
was a revered at MCC and I knew that her and her wife had been trying also. And to no avail. And I knew what that felt like and I knew what heartache that brought. I had another embryo and so I thought why not donate that embryo. I went into
PAT
’s office and she says now that she knew what I was gonna say to her. I said I wanted to talk to her about something and I said I have this other embryo and I would like to donate it to you and [PH] Stephanie. So then a year after Danika and [PH] Eric were born, [PH] Mia was born.
PAT
You were a good salesperson young lady.
MAIA
Oh my God.
PAT, KRISTI
For only five dollars.
KRISTI
The kids know that they’re sisters and brothers and we get together as much as we can through our busy lives. I would hope and I want my children to feel, when they grow up to feel confident and be proud of this modern family. Just know that they don’t have to fit any kind of stereotype. I think that’s the biggest thing for us is they see that we don’t fit into any typical stereotype.
THERESA
Right, no they’re just as normal as the next kid. That’s all there is to it.
KRISTI
I’m hopping by the time –
THERESA
They have a more entertaining story I think at the end.
KRISTI
Yeah.