Jennifer didn’t particularly want kids as a teenager, but after giving birth to her first daughter, she realized how much she loved being a mom and the whole process of pregnancy.

So when she first heard about surrogacy, it felt like a natural choice. Now, after having given birth almost a dozen times, she has developed a close relationship with her latest intended parent—an HIV-positive businessman from Taiwan.

DR. KOLB

How many times have you given birth?

JEN

Given birth, 11 times.

DR. KOLB

Okay. With 11 children.

JEN

No. With 13 children.

DR. KOLB

Thirteen children, 11 births.

JEN

Yeah. When I was a teenager, I didn’t want to get—I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to be—oh, no, no, none of that. And then, I don’t know what really changed my mind. After I had my first, my first daughter, you know, I was immediately in love with being a mom, and the pregnancy was easy, and it became my life. I wanted to have a lot of kids after that. And I did.

I was in nursing school, and one of my fellow students told me that she was going to be a surrogate. And I was like, “What’s that?” I had no idea what it was. She told me, I was like, “I could totally do that.”

DR. KOLB

Okay, so the—we need to coordinate your cycle with the donors. We’ll look at your schedule; we’ll look at the donor’s schedule, as well. And we’ll try to accommodate your schedules best that we can.

JEN

Okay.

I’m going to do a sibling project for Charles, and hopefully, we’ll be transferring in the fall. Charles is the single dad that I carried as a surrogate for, and delivered in February—twins.

DR. KOLB

So the things that we’re going to do today is we’re going to do a pap smear, cultures, and things. Did you have your blood test yet?

JEN

No, I haven’t, no.

DR. KOLB

Okay.

JEN

Carrying for a gay man was not an issue at all. It was actually more of a draw. My mom is a lesbian. I grew up in a lesbian household. And it was something I’d seen other surrogates do before. And I thought, “Wow, that—yes, I’d like to do that. I’d like to be a part of helping him have a family that he could otherwise never do by himself.” We would just chat, and he started calling me his sister, and I became part of his family. And I would write to him about nothing—nothing surrogacy related, nothing pregnancy related, because we just became friends, and we just talked about things, like friends do.

Anything about pregnancy, or—it was all new, and it was exciting for me because it’s, you know, old hat for me, but watching him learn, and the sparkle on the face, and—it was—it was really neat.

DR. KOLB

So once again, we’re going to select one or two of the best, healthiest embryos.

JEN

Um-hmm.

DR. KOLB

And then at that point, the embryos transfer to you. The embryo transfer doesn’t hurt, doesn’t require any anesthesia, as you’re aware. And we’re just going to gently take a small catheter, and put one or two embryos inside.

JEN

Okay.

I had blood work done, and urine testing, and I had an ultrasound, a saline ultrasound in my uterus to check to see if I have any cysts in my ovaries, to make sure that the lining of my uterus is clear and without polyps, and that everything looks as it should. And this old girl has a beautiful uterus—that’s what Dr. Kolb said.

It’s pretty magnificent, actually. I feel amazing. I’m feeling—I’m in better shape, and feeling better about myself than I was when I first started having babies. And so I’ve been able to help three different families have the children that they always hoped for. And I have my own children, as well. I love being able to be pregnant, and I could populate the earth!

My first time being a surrogate was great at first. And then about halfway through, the relationship kind of fell apart. I don’t really know what happened. I can only speculate that the intended mother was not quite ready to deal with having a surrogate, and an egg donor. She was an older mother. And our relationship fell apart. And then after the hospital, and the baby being born, they left, and I never—I never talked to them again. So then I decided, I’m like—I know that that’s not what surrogacy is about. And I said I have to do this again. And I called the agency. I said, “I can’t leave on this note.” And they matched me up. I became great friends with the couple that I carried for. They lived about 30, 40 minutes away. We would go and visit. My kids loved them. And it was—it was very healing for me, and it went as I expected and wanted a surrogacy to go, you know. It was magical. The delivery was amazing, even though it was a Cesarean. You know, we kept in touch afterwards. I saw the babies, and it was—it was really great.

When I first did it, my kids—let’s see, it was January of 2005. So my oldest was just seven. Basically what I said is that, you know, “Bonnie’s belly was broken, and couldn’t hold a baby. And so I’m helping her because mine isn’t.” You know, something simple, to that. And she’s like, “Okay.” You know. And that was that. It was kind of cool for my husband when he learned I was gonna be a surrogate, you know. He thought, “Wow, okay.” And so we went through the process. And we were—we decided that we did not want to have any children. He had a child already from his previous marriage, and I had the four, and we’re like, “That’s enough.” So we were able to experience the intimacy of a pregnancy, and childbirth, and bond and become closer. But then—not have the baby at the end. And it was really neat.

You’re not giving up a child. You’re giving the child back. They gave the child to you as an embryo, to take care of and to grow, and when you give birth to that child, you’re giving it back. I’m like a babysitter; you know, this is just babysitting for nine months.

NURSE

And because we’re doing a new cycle—it’s been a little bit—we’ll go ahead and have you do your Consent for Surrogacy. Okay?

JEN

All right.

NURSE

These two, you know that you’ve done before.

JEN

Um-hmm.

NURSE

In the past.

You’re gonna go ahead and sign there, under Surrogate, you’ll initial on the bottom of every page. Basically, the consent is that you are coming, you would like to be a surrogate for your intended couple. It’s explaining your medication; that you agree to take the medications. Also, too, it talks about psychological risks, financial responsibility—as a surrogate, you have none. Yay.

NURSE

Right. We like that.

People think that surrogates are like, oh, welfare women who are just desperate for money, uneducated, just baby-making machines. You know, like what, that movie, “Baby Mama”—she’s just a dingbat. And it’s so insulting. It’s so insulting to surrogates, because if you really sat down and got to know; if you went to one of our Facebook groups and talked to people, college educated. We make, you know, a living. We’re not—as a matter of fact, you can’t be on government assistance and be a surrogate if you’re doing it, you know, through an agency. Of course, there are people, who go through the cracks. But as a general rule, you have to have your head on straight. You have to be psychologically sound. You have to be physically sound. It’s serious. It’s not a joke that it’s portrayed in the media.

NURSE

I’ll go ahead and see if there is anything else Christie wants to go over with you.

JEN

All right.

NURSE

Other than that—good luck to you.

JEN

Thank you.

NURSE

We look forward to your cycle. Good job.

JEN

Exciting.

You need to be surrounded with people who are supportive. I’ve seen surrogates who have family members disown them for being a surrogate—not just for being a surrogate, but being a surrogate for gay parents, where they just could not—they could not wrap their heads around it. And so if you’re going to do something so huge and so impacting, you need to have people around to support you. So it’s not just something, you know, that you just decide to do one day. You really need to think about it.

I never thought I was meant to be a surrogate, but now that I’ve done it, I’m like, “Yeah.” I might just be a waitress, but I’m a surrogate, and I’m very proud of it. That means I’m making a difference. It’s—I’m helping people achieve their dream. Oh, I’m getting teary. I don’t know, it’s part of being a part of a miracle. And I feel very lucky and privileged to be a part of that.